Determination

You have been depressed for so long that you are sick and tired of being depressed. You want your life back! You desire to feel happy, confident, successful, valued, connected, interested and interesting. ‘If only I can break the cycle of this depression and set myself free to LIVE the rest of my life!’

The truth is: it’s hard to break free from depression. It’s almost impossible to talk yourself out of it (Would be nice to hear from people who succeeded this way!) It’s also unlikely that a person, who has been crippled by depression, would find strength, discipline and motivation to do and act differently from one particular moment forward.

Gwyneth Lewis in her book ‘Sunbathing in the rain’, which describes her experience of depression, writes ”Depression itself can’t harm you, only what you do about it can”.

Way too often we choose behaviours to harm ourselves when we feel depressed. Here are a few examples how you might be hurting yourself:

We all make mistakes throughout our lives. It’s normal. It’s human. If you try to avoid making mistakes, you will run into all kinds of trouble, ranging from indecisiveness and stagnation to severe depression.

Allowing yourself to live fully would inevitably lead to a few mistakes being made by you and that’s ok. Learn from your mistakes and cherish this knowledge. It is yours to help you recognise the same mistakes in advance and to make the right choices in the future.

What is one of the most common things any psychiatrist or mental health professional asks during your first meeting? I think it’s ‘Tell me about your childhood’.

So, you tell your ‘story’ and it gets written down and filed in your notes. The next professional comes along and asks you to tell it again. Some of them will try to ‘dig in’ deeper and deeper to find a cause of your depression.

If you happened to have had a great childhood, you are likely to be taken on a historic dig of your past to find out the someone or something that could be to blame for you current dysfunctional life.

Last week British newspapers reported the suicide of Victoria Nye.She was a bright and beautiful 22-year-old trying to get her mental illness under control. She had plans to become a doctor. All she needed was to heal and develop new habits, strategies, skills…

She sought help. For the first time in her life, she agreed voluntarily to go to the hospital to get better.

Wait… don’t log off… give me a minute of your attention… please…

I know how upsetting it is to read the title of this post. But let me explain.

Of course, you want to be depression-free. I have no doubts that this is your conscious choice.

However, it’s not enough to want this outcome consciously. What goes on deep in the recesses of your subconscious mind will also influence whether you can achieve your desired results.